- 1
Get Out Of Debt
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- Rawpixel.com
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Why would you make this a resolution? Do you know how hard it is to get out of debt? You'd be better off ignoring the $500 you owe Bank of America and all those school loans.
Why not just buy yourself a new iPhone instead? Treat yourself. You deserve it.
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- 2
Start Exercising
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- TORWAISTUDIO
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Let's face it, exercising is too hard for a busy titan of industry like yourself. And how would you look if you joined a gym in January like every other chump? Obviously, you would look like a chump, and you are not a chump.
Plus, that $39.99 a month thing is going to add up fast, especially when you know you'll never go. You could be spending that money on something much more useful... like beer.
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- 3
Eat Healthier
- Photo:
- Ana D
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Be honest. Which sounds better to you: cauliflower or pizza? PIZZA, obviously.
Anybody who says that they truly enjoy eating low-carb, nonfat, gluten-free, or low-calorie is a dirty lying liar.
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- 4
Stop Procrastinating
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- Aleksey Boyko
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As great as it sounds to stop procrastinating, you can always figure this out next year.
Come. Reddit is calling.
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- 5
Get Organized
- Photo:
- smirart
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If you're like most people, your apartment is about two stacks of newspapers and one bulging closet away from ending up on an episode of Hoarders.
The amount of time it would take to get your place into shape would definitely take away from that Austin Powers marathon you have planned for this evening.
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- 6
Stop Playing So Many Video Games
- Photo:
- korobskyph
- Shutterstock.com
You're an adult, and even if your generation has become infantilized to the point of no return, you should probably chill with the MMORPGs and first-person shooters.
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